Shouldn’t You Be Over That By Now?

Thoughts on working through grief with spirituality over religion with Deloris Rapp, M.Div. and Darius James, M.Div., M.Ed.

The assurance and realization that you’re not facing grief alone is one of the first steps toward healing. You are not alone. Both in the very physical interpretation of the word as well as the spiritual implications. 

There are others who’ve experienced hurt, loss, grief, even deep depression and harmful, intrusive thoughts as they come to terms with the death of a loved one, certainly.

Finding and confiding in others who’ve shared similar experiences can play a significant role in your grief journey.

But this isn’t the end of the story. Healing begins here. In fact, for many, healing begins at the moment they decide to cling to what is eternal, and hope for what is unseen, eliminating the thoughts of whether or not they “should be” over a significant loss within a certain amount of time. 

Chaplains Deloris Rapp, M.Div. and Darius James, M.Div., M.Ed. share their thoughts on how to cope with grief and loss in a healthful way. 

Watch their video series now.

Grief is a process, often crossing the expanse of a lifetime. However, we live in a culture that celebrates quick wins and surface-level responses to “how are you doing?”

And as we travel through the grief process – maybe for those of us even for the first time – it can be tempting to bury our emotions. To reply with the standard, “fine,” and move on with our days. 

Or avoid contact with those who will ask us about our grief experience all together.

But when you’re honest about your emotions, when you allow yourself to be vulnerable to the process of healing in both your heart and mind, you’re more likely to have a healthier transition into the next phase of your life without your loved one.

Grief isn’t accompanied by a set of rules or obligations that you should feel compelled to follow. It doesn’t require a set of rules or guidelines, and it certainly doesn’t happen within the confines of a structured, pragmatic religion.

This process isn’t something that will take a certain amount of time to heal from. In fact, the pain from the loss of a loved one can return in spades years, or even decades, after a death has occured. 

Grief isn’t something to “get over,” and it should be seen as an obstacle to overcome. It’s a companion that can allow you to find a deeper appreciation and meaning to life, if you’re willing to do the honest, soulful, heart-work it takes to get there.

We’re here for you as you begin this journey.

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